Top Ten Reasons NOT to Join Usborne Books & More

I know, I know. I’m a book consultant with UBAM so why would I be giving reasons not to join Usborne Books & More? Because, sincerely, it’s not for everybody. Some people should not join OR even buy from Usborne Books & More!

Top 10 Reasons Not To Join Usborne Books & More:

1. You Hate Books
   In fact, you’d go as far as to argue that movies based on books are always better than the actual book. Books are just so boring.
2. You think reading to children is a waste of time
   Why risk them becoming smarter than you? Plus, studies “suggesting that there is an important link between the empathy felt for fictional characters and the ability to empathize with people in reality” are way overblown. Same with the ones that connect reading to children when they’re young with the quality and strength of the parent-child relationship. There’s just no point to reading to children.
3. You prefer giving loud, plastic toys as gifts to kids
   The louder the better!! Especially if it’s cheaply made, needs lots of batteries, and will break within a week. Makes way more sense than a book that can be reread multiple times, thus providing comfort to a child as well as a quicker grasp of new vocabulary.
4. Rhyming phrases trip you up
   Who cares that rhyming builds phonemic awareness, an important early literacy skill? Rhyming is just hard to do!
5. You hate meeting new people
   Finding connections with people who share the same passions as you isn’t fulfilling at all. Being challenged in new ways and discovering new strengths through team work is just unwelcome. Why grow as a person through friendship?
6. You don’t want something that is just for you
   It’s totally easy finding time for yourself! You don’t need help finding self-care that doesn’t make you feel guilty. You are 100% fulfilled just as you are. Nothing is missing. You don’t need an outlet that belongs to you.
7. You hate saving money on books
   Full priced is where it’s at!! Who needs commission that starts at 25%!?
8. You would rather have your kids watch TV or play on computers
   You watched TV all the time growing up and you’re completely fine!! Who cares that the average American child spends 5-8 hours a day in front of a screen, and 4-7 minutes a day in unstructured outdoor play. Why would you buy books that would encourage the outdoors!?
9. Books give you paper cuts
   They also murdered your entire family.
10. Finally, making extra money isn’t appealing to you
    You already own a yacht, your house is paid off, you don’t have any student loans, you hate vacationing. I get it! You don’t need this opportunity! You definitely don’t need an opportunity to spread literacy, make 25% on all sales, have no minimums, no inventory, and the best company with the best mission statement around.

The future of our world depends on the education of our children.
Usborne Books & More delivers educational excellence one book at a time.
We provide economic opportunity while fostering strong family values.
We touch the lives of children for a lifetime.

That’s it! Those are my top ten reasons not to join Usborne Books & More. Hope that helps your decision making!!

(Obviously, this is tongue in cheek. If you’re actually curious, I have serious responses to top FAQs here.)